Indulge me whilst I share a project from my online writing group..
While the participant were enthusiastically enrolling, I threw in an ice breaker (as I do) and suggested a quick challenge. I'll post a picture, and please write a paragraph or two to explain, or hint at the back story. It has been well received and the responses are quite sensational.
But in keeping with good writing protocols I shall only share my response. If others wish to add theirs in the comments, I welcome it as there are some talented folks out there
From me...
Thank you all for attending at short notice...I shall read from a prepared statement.
“I would like to confirm that I was involved in a late night incident approximately three weeks ago in the London Olympic village, and would like to clear up some of the scandalous rumor and innuendo that has been circulating on social media since.
Some have questioned why I was in London in the first place given that I had no interest at all in the royal family up until now. I will admit the prospect of a chance meeting with Pippa Middleton’s butt may have been a contributing factor, but can I state for the record that I was there to “visit the Queen”.
My attempts to access the palace were initially successful, but the unfamiliar surroundings meant that instead of frightening a little mouse under a chair i was accidentally locked in a closet in one of the Royal corridors. I may have been stuck in there for longer, but was saved by the fact that it belonged to Prince Edward, and he wanted to get back in there. I was ejected from the palace by a burly Guardsman named Precious, but I digress, this was not the incident I am here to explain..
Later that evening I found myself at the Olympic village precinct, accepting an offer from Usain Bolt to Party. Prior to this I had never drank Powerade.
Yes, I will admit that I was under the influence of electrolytes and red food colouring, and yes I should have stayed with the Swedish Handball team, but instead I found myself in the company of the Siamese Judo squad. I was coerced into drinking jello tequila shots with another outsider within the group, whose flowing mane of black hair and elfen like features hypnotized me. Her sleek long body and the signature white stripe that ran from her neck to the tip of her tail...and it was only when I held her close in an alcoholic embrace that I realized she was not who I thought she was. This was the second worst mistake of the evening.
I have now come to realize that screaming out “SKUNK” is not the smartest thing to do in a room full of strangers. Compounding this was the fact that my tequila speech defect made it sound like “Skank”. These two elements led to half of the room deciding to make a frenzied rush for the nearest exit, which was just behind me, and the other half of the room taking personal offence at my name calling. Last thing I remember was high pitched screeching, breaking glass and the unsettling sound of ping pong balls falling to the ground...then darkness.
Doctors say that I will make a reasonable recover, regain 90 % vision in my left eye, and full lateral movement in my neck. They still wonder how I lost my right front leg, as do I, but avoid asking why I have difficulty sitting..and when I do, why can I smell coriander and peanuts.
I have nothing more to add at this point in time, except to say that I look forward to Rio 2016 Paralympic games...
Thank you
Bronson ‘Tripod’ Rangaman”
Now...back to your own beds and I'll tell yer fer why
DB
While the participant were enthusiastically enrolling, I threw in an ice breaker (as I do) and suggested a quick challenge. I'll post a picture, and please write a paragraph or two to explain, or hint at the back story. It has been well received and the responses are quite sensational.
But in keeping with good writing protocols I shall only share my response. If others wish to add theirs in the comments, I welcome it as there are some talented folks out there
From me...
Thank you all for attending at short notice...I shall read from a prepared statement.
“I would like to confirm that I was involved in a late night incident approximately three weeks ago in the London Olympic village, and would like to clear up some of the scandalous rumor and innuendo that has been circulating on social media since.
Some have questioned why I was in London in the first place given that I had no interest at all in the royal family up until now. I will admit the prospect of a chance meeting with Pippa Middleton’s butt may have been a contributing factor, but can I state for the record that I was there to “visit the Queen”.
My attempts to access the palace were initially successful, but the unfamiliar surroundings meant that instead of frightening a little mouse under a chair i was accidentally locked in a closet in one of the Royal corridors. I may have been stuck in there for longer, but was saved by the fact that it belonged to Prince Edward, and he wanted to get back in there. I was ejected from the palace by a burly Guardsman named Precious, but I digress, this was not the incident I am here to explain..
Later that evening I found myself at the Olympic village precinct, accepting an offer from Usain Bolt to Party. Prior to this I had never drank Powerade.
Yes, I will admit that I was under the influence of electrolytes and red food colouring, and yes I should have stayed with the Swedish Handball team, but instead I found myself in the company of the Siamese Judo squad. I was coerced into drinking jello tequila shots with another outsider within the group, whose flowing mane of black hair and elfen like features hypnotized me. Her sleek long body and the signature white stripe that ran from her neck to the tip of her tail...and it was only when I held her close in an alcoholic embrace that I realized she was not who I thought she was. This was the second worst mistake of the evening.
I have now come to realize that screaming out “SKUNK” is not the smartest thing to do in a room full of strangers. Compounding this was the fact that my tequila speech defect made it sound like “Skank”. These two elements led to half of the room deciding to make a frenzied rush for the nearest exit, which was just behind me, and the other half of the room taking personal offence at my name calling. Last thing I remember was high pitched screeching, breaking glass and the unsettling sound of ping pong balls falling to the ground...then darkness.
Doctors say that I will make a reasonable recover, regain 90 % vision in my left eye, and full lateral movement in my neck. They still wonder how I lost my right front leg, as do I, but avoid asking why I have difficulty sitting..and when I do, why can I smell coriander and peanuts.
I have nothing more to add at this point in time, except to say that I look forward to Rio 2016 Paralympic games...
Thank you
Bronson ‘Tripod’ Rangaman”
Now...back to your own beds and I'll tell yer fer why
DB
